Meaning in my work

I’m struggling tonight to find meaning in my work. Trying to press on not knowing what I should be doing and whether I even want to do what I’m doing.

The rewards come and go. Good clients, respect and courtesy. Then a bomb hits and I see the reality of what people really are—greedy, selfish, cheap, mean.

I can only imagine how disappointed and angry God was time and time again with the Israelites. And then Jesus with the Pharisees and religious authorities that had no understanding of love and kindness and mercy. And I am nothing and yet I am so disappointed and angry with people.

Most days I travel along quite unhappy, just getting by emotionally, or not really, disappointed with the world and the people in it. I hate the people in the Mountains, where I live. I don’t want to hate people, but I find it so hard to love people globally when the world is so ignorant and mean, and seemingly intentionally.

How do you love life? How did Paul love life and continue to serve God knowing how evil and self-concerned people were? He had such a light for Christ shining day and night. I wish I had this.

I struggle daily in business and life. The longer I am in business the more I hate people and want nothing to do with them. My experience is that people are selfish and the world cultivates an “I” or “me” centric culture.

And then I go back to Paul’s words in Philippians 3: 12-16 (ESV)

“12 Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own.

13 Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead,

14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

15 Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you.

16 Only let us hold true to what we have attained.”

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